Overcoming Loneliness

An article by Ellie Kim

No matter what stage of life you’re in, there has probably been a point in your life where you run out of people to text, cant find any unread messages, or don’t have friends to call for updates on whatever you might be dealing with. 

Loneliness comes in all sort of shapes and sizes. But it’s something that everyone deals with. 

There are two dictionary definitions for loneliness:

1. sadness because one has no friends or company.

2. (of a place) the quality of being unfrequented and remote; isolation.

And some similar words: isolation, friendless, abandonment, solitude, sadness.

These synonyms all have negative connotations, which only further expands on the belief that many people have of loneliness being a bad thing. We’ve all heard the term “protecting my peace” where you purposefully cleanse your entire life of things you no longer want to be associated with, getting rid of anything negative. Temporary loneliness can feel a little bit like having that phrase on repeat like a mantra to yourself, a reason for why you may be lonely. 

There are easy ways to cure loneliness. If you find yourself putting in all your energy and effort into people and not receiving it back, then stop trying. Pick up a hobby. Start drawing, start reading, start exercising. Distract yourself. Listen to music or put on a podcast. Fill your time with things that benefit you instead of waiting for the message to show up on your lock-screen asking if you’re busy. 

You are busy. You’re busy making time for yourself for the first time and enjoying it without it being a bad thing. 

When I was at my loneliest, I turned to books. And while it might sound cringe or not the most fun thing I could’ve done, I am forever grateful for the hours I spent each day, reading and poring over books that have not changed the trajectory of my life. I found myself looking forward to spending time learning about characters, struggles of the real world, experiencing friendship and romance through the lens of a character I could put into perspective. 

It’s okay to feel bad about spending your weekends alone. It’s normal to feel shame or embarrassment about it. But try your best to make the most out of it. 

You could find passions that you might have never realised you had if it weren’t for the time you spent alone. You can even make friends spending time alone. You decide to join a book club and meet people with the same interests as you. You get into games and make friends online who like to stay up until ungodly hours playing video games. You could be walking alone and you find yourself making eye contact with the same person every day until you decide to put on a brave front and start a conversation. 

If you look on the bright side and actively do what you enjoy, you never know what might come your way.

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